My birthday post from tom <3

Oh it’s your birthday? Well done and all that, I’m very impressed (There were points when I thought you wouldn’t even get this far, it’s a real accomplishment!) The people of Samoa made extra sure not to miss your birthday by moving an entire time zone, and skipping the 30th and jumping straight to the 31st just for you: clearly they were a little too excited for your birthday. Which means they’re now the first country to celebrate your birthday, rather than the last. Hurrah!

Did you know, your birthday is celebrated in almost every country in the world. Apart from China, they got confused somewhere along the line and now celebrate it at really weird times of year.

So now you’re 18, you can moan that you legally can’t afford alcohol and still need other people to buy it for you. Not much is really changing there then. You’ve also managed to completely forgo the driving part of being 17. Something not very many people manage to avoid. Truly skilful. Now don’t get too drunk tonight, there are enough people celebrating your birthday that it’s really not necessary.

So lets look at things that have happened on your birthday in the past, that in some cases maybe fractionally more notable than you actually, well, being born. Taipei 101, previously the tallest sky scraper in the world was opened. It was actually opened in honour of your birthday, but they forgot to send you an invite to the event.

The Manhattan bridge opened, and what a nice bridge it is to. Apparently that one wasn’t in your honour, but only because of an admin error meaning they couldn’t find you.

It’s at this point which I’d normally list those people that also share the honour of being born on the same day as you, but to put it bluntly, none of them are even remotely as interesting, or famous as you. I mean, some of them are people you MIGHT have heard of, but they’re not worth talking about, and definitely don’t deserve the honour of having the 31st December as their birthday.

Personally, I propose we should give this day a name, similar to Christmas Day, it should be called the Super-Incredible-Awesome-Birthday-Of-Louise-Day. I can see this would present issues for TV Guides and such, but to be honest, they’re professionals, they should be able to find a way around the issue.

As I write this, there are currently 5 hours left in your birthday. I think this means we can technically class this wall post as ‘late’ but who needs time restrictions, as we can just pretend were on eastern time, where there are 10 hours of your birthday left, or pacific time, where there are 12 hours left.

THIS IS WHERE YOU PHONED ME! MOANING ABOUT YOUR WALL POST. Well It was coming! You are so impatient. I mean, you’ve been moaning that you havn’t been 18 for at least 6 months, so I guess I should have known that. Yeah. My bad, I’ll put my hand up for that one.

I can’t really ramble for that much longer actually, my chinese takeaway will be here soon. New fact for you: It seems pretty much everyone has takeaway, with a large portion of those people eating Chinese specifically on your birthday. Maybe it’s too punish China for celebrating your birthday at the wrong time of year?
So yeah, after that I’m going to go out and drink to celebrate your birthday. Everyone always stays up till midnight on your birthday. It’s really weird. I’ve always just assumed it’s because they want to enjoy every last second of it. That’s gotta be it. 

OH! My Chinese just arrived!

Have the best birthday ever, drink a ton (To the point where a stomach pump might be an option) and have fun living the life of a rockstar! (Sorry, I mean 18 year old. Got carried away) 

LOVE YOU MORE THAN EVAR
Arivvederci,
Tom
♥♥♥